Okay, so after talking about it for well over a decade, I finally made the trip to New York City. It was my biggest vacation in maybe 9 years or more, my first time on an airplane in over 18 years, and my first time on an airplane without my family.
First, some background information. When I was in university (1994/1995), I chatted in the Seinfeld newsgroup (alt.tv.seinfeld). There I met someone named Kenny Kramer, who said that the character Kramer on the show was based on him (he used to live across the hall from Larry David, the show's co-producer). Eventually he started a Seinfeld reality bus tour of New York City, to show tourists and Seinfeld fans alike all the places in the city where the show took place (and where the exterior shots were filmed), and built a web site to promote it: kennykramer.com. I helped him design, build, maintain, and promote the web site, so he invited me to take his tour free, which I always wanted to do, but never seemed to get around to it.
This year, my friend Alex Lasarev was in Las Vegas for a poker tournament. On his way back to Toronto, he said he'd stop in New York City (he has family in the area) for a few days, and that I should join him, and we could take the Seinfeld Reality Tour. So we went from July 5 to July 10.
THURSDAY, JULY 5, 2007
My first challenge was getting to the airport in Toronto (Pearson, YYZ). My flight was supposed to leave at 5:15PM. So what time should I get to the airport? I figured leave at 2:45PM, that'll give me an hour to get to the airport, and an hour and a half to get to the plane. Plenty of time, right? WRONG! With the bus (Malton 58, from Lawrence West Station) fighting rush hour traffic, I didn't get to the airport until 4:15PM. And even though I had already checked in on the web, there's still a lot of red tape (customs, immigration, luggage, etc.) to go through at the airport. So I rushed like hell and made it to the gate by 4:45PM. (And after a late lunch/dinner, it was around 5:00PM.) My biggest problem: I hadn't printed out my travel itinerary (which Customs wants to see, to prove to them exactly how long I'll be out of the country). I didn't know I had to print it! I hate paper -- it's obsolete, and cutting down all those trees is killing the planet. But I had it in my Palm Pilot, so the Customs officer reluctantly accepted that.
So I get on the plane, and we start taxiing towards the runway, but there's a problem with one of the doors. So we sit around for quite a while, while the flight crew tried to fix the problem, but they couldn't. So we go back to the gate, and a maintenance crew looks at the door, but they can't fix it. So we have to get off the plane and walk down to another gate. Then we have to wait an hour or two while they find another gate crew, and then we can finally board the new plane. (I went to grab a chicken sandwich, and it took so long to make it, I almost missed the second plane! Also, they put way too much mustard on it, so I spilled mustard all over my pants.) So we're heading out towards the runway again when guess what -- bad weather has closed all the airspace between Toronto and New York! So we sit around on the tarmac for like 40 minutes before we finally get clearance to fly. The total delay was about 4 or 5 hours! It must have been well after midnight when I got to the hotel (Hotel 17). (At LaGuardia International Airport I grabbed a transit map, and bought a 1-week unlimited Metrocard transit pass.) Alex was waiting for me at the hotel -- his plane (to JFK Airport) had also been delayed. Then we went to Gramercy Cafe nearby and had some French toast.
The next problem: either Alex or the hotel had screwed up our reservation, and only given us one bed instead of a double room. ARG! Plus the bed was pretty small -- even if I was alone I wouldn't have fit on it. So the first night was pretty awkward. Plus, the room was on the 7th floor, and we had to ride the oldest, smallest, slowest elevator in the world, with a door that swung OUT instead of sliding to the side!
FRIDAY, JULY 6, 2007
Okay, so Alex and I wake up on our first full day in New York City. The first thing we have to do is laundry: Alex didn't do any for the 2 weeks he was in Las Vegas because it was ridiculously expensive (plus, I spilled mustard on my pants yesterday). So we went to a couple of dry cleaning places, but they would have taken at least all day to clean the clothes. So eventually one of them pointed out that there was a laundromat across the street which we somehow hadn't noticed. So we went in there and it was DEATHLY hot inside (even hotter than the heat wave outside), cooled only by a few fans which barely helped at all. And I'm sure it didn't help that the dryers seemed to be gas powered (you could actually see fire coming out the top!). So we did a load of laundry and then put it in the dryer for 20 minutes, and played cards in the meantime. I was surprised that the clothes were dry after only 20 minutes (thought it would take at least an hour), but I'm worried that my cotton pants shrunk. (I usually hang up all my clothes to dry.)
The next challenge: breakfast. Trying to save money and be healthy, we bought cereal and milk (with plastic spoons and plastic salad containers for bowls) at a local store, and brought them back to the hotel. By this time the hotel had moved our stuff to our new (double) room on the first floor, which was good because we no longer had to ride the elevator, and the new room was much bigger (and taller). Plus, using Alex's notebook computer, we were able to connect to somebody's (a neighbour's?) insecure wireless network, and used that to connect to the Internet, which was very useful for staying in touch with people.
In our new room, we found a tourist brochure/magazine, and looked through it for stuff to do. And then we found that there was a Star Trek exhibit at the Museum of the Moving Image! Alex and I are big Star Trek fans, so we went there and looked at all the paraphernalia: trading cards, action figures, toys, games, magazines, books, uniforms, props, etc. It was quite interesting.
Pictures from the museum:After the museum, we went down to Times Square and walked around for a bit. We went into the big Toys R Us store with the big ferris wheel. You can see pictures of Alex and me sword-fighting here and here. Then we had dinner at an Italian buffet restaurant.
At 8:00PM we went to see Les Misérables at the Broadhurst Theater. But we didn't really enjoy it very much. I mean it's very well done, of course -- quite a pool of talent (acting, singing, music, and technical production) -- but it's very hard for us to identify with a story that takes place hundreds of years ago, halfway around the world. Plus, I had already seen it twice, in Toronto. But at least now I've seen a Broadway musical in New York City. (By the way, "Broadway" refers to the size of the theater, not its location.)
After that, we went to a comedy show at a small bar/nightclub.
SATURDAY, JULY 7, 2007
We went to the Carnegie Deli and had a Woody Allen sandwich (corned beef and pastrami on rye), and a potato knish. The knish wasn't that good, but the sandwich was HUGE! It would've been way more than enough for both of us, even without the knish! I mean there's no possible way to eat this thing as a sandwich, it's like 8 inches tall. You basically have to take it apart and eat it with a fork!
SUNDAY, JULY 8, 2007
And now for the highlight of our trip: Kenny Kramer's Seinfeld Reality Tour! We went to the Producers' Club Theater and watched a video about Kenny Kramer, Larry David, and the Seinfeld show. Then Kenny Kramer himself came out and talked about the show some more, answered questions from the group, and played a few more video clips. Then we went down to Kenny's store, KRA-MART, and Alex decided to buy me a T-shirt, so I chose the one with a picture of Kenny Kramer wearing a T-shirt with a picture of Cosmo Kramer (Michael Ricards). So it's a Kramer-on-Kramer T-shirt!
Then we got on the bus and saw the sights. We passed the building where Kenny lives (and where Larry David used to live across the hall from him). We passed by the original "Soup Kitchen" (which has since closed down). We passed by the hospital where Kramer and Seinfeld accidentally dropped a Junior Mint into Roy (Elaine's artist ex-boyfriend, who painted triangles) during his surgery. Then Kenny gave everyone on the bus a small box of Junior Mints. But I was the only one able to answer the trivia question: What operation did Roy have? It was a SPLEENECTOMY! For that, Kenny gave me a baseball card of Jay Buhner. Larry David had been furious when George Steinbrenner traded Jay Buhner off the Yankees, which is why George Costanza yelled at George Steinbrenner about that (which is how George Costanza got his job working for the Yankees).
We also stopped at Tom's Restaurant , where an exterior shot was filmed for the show, but the shot only shows the word "Restaurant" in the sign, not "Tom's", because on the show the restaurant is referred to as "Monk's". Ironically, in real life, the restaurant is run by a guy whose name is NOT Tom or Monk.
Pictures at Tom's Restaurant:The biggest problem with the tour was that some of the sights were no longer there (they'd gone out of business, or been replaced by something else, etc.). I should have gone sooner! But Kenny figured if Seinfeld can do a show about nothing, he can take a tour to places that no longer exist! And he also showed us on the bus a clip from the Seinfeld show, and an old, rare clip of Larry David doing an interview (with some comedy bits) on a talk show in the '80s.
After the tour ended, we went back to Tom's Restaurant for lunch, and I had -- what else? -- a BIG SALAD! Actually it was called a "Chef's Salad", with ham and cheese, but it was pretty big, easily a whole meal in itself. Here's a picture of it!
After that, we took a helicopter tour called "Taste of New York". It's only 5 to 7 minutes long, but it's quite a ride -- we flew over the Hudson river, down past the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island, saw all the big buildings including the Empire State Building and the construction at the World Trade Center, etc. Alex asked to see the pilot's license. The pilot said it was in the mail. Then he added, "Actually, I'm not a pilot. But I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night!"
They took a picture of Alex and me in front of the helicopter, and they wanted us to pay to get a copy of it. Instead, Alex took pictures of the picture! Here they are:MONDAY, JULY 9, 2007
Alex went off to have lunch with his cousin (who was on his way back to New Jersey) at the Olive Garden. This gave me a chance to sleep in a little and then catch up on some online games I play on the Internet, check my e-mail, etc. Then I met Alex at the Olive Garden and had a quick lunch, and then we left and headed up to the Ed Sullivan Theater, because I had won tickets to see a taping of The Late Show with David Letterman.
It was easy to get the tickets -- I applied on their web site, and they called me back and asked a trivia question: What does Stephanie do? I was prepared to mute the call and quickly look up the answer on the web, but fortunately I didn't have to -- I had already looked up Stephanie on the web -- I like her because she's pretty! Stephanie Birkitt is Dave's assistant -- he calls her Vicky, Smitty, and Monty (but nobody knows why). The answer was: she gives out prizes to audiences members. I heard that another trivia question is "Who is Rupert?" Of course, Rupert Jee is the owner of the Hello Deli next to the Ed Sullivan Theater, and he frequently appears on the Late Show (often in the deli itself). I briefly went into the Hello Deli while I was waiting in line for the show, but I'm not sure if Rupert was there at the time. The deli is pretty small!
Anyway, they told us to show up between 2PM and 3PM. We got there around 2PM and there was already a big line up (I think I heard that some people were waiting there all morning). We got into the theater, got our tickets, and got out by about 3PM, and they told us to come back by 3:45PM. So we played cards in a cafe and walked around and went into some stores. Then we came back to the theater, waited in line some more, and then got our seats (in the balcony). Someone came out onto the stage to introduce the show, warm up the audience, and then introduce the band (Paul Shaffer and the CBS Orchestra). The band played for a bit, and then Dave came out and took a couple of questions from the audience, but didn't have time to answer them, because taping starts at EXACTLY 4:30PM.
The first guest was Don Cheadle, who is a very versatile and under-rated actor. He talked about his new movie Talk To Me. The next guest was Shannon Ice, a toy manufacturer/distributor showing a bunch of new children's toys (which Dave played with). Then the band Smashing Pumpkins performed a song. I was never into their music, but Alex loves them. Once, over 10 years ago, he had tickets to see them in concert, but missed the concert. But the song they performed on the show wasn't very good.
By the way, the Ed Sullivan Theater is so cold, they told me to bring a jacket. Instead I brought pants and a sweatshirt. I could have put them on top of my shorts and T-shirt, but I didn't need to, because it was so hot outside, I hardly noticed the cold.
After the show we just walked around in the Times Square area, went into a few stores, and had some juice at Jamba Juice. Then we went to a comedy show at the Jazz on the Park hostel, in the basement. It was supposed to start at 8:30PM, but it actually started around 9:00PM. In the meantime we hung out in the foyer and watched Friends. I got thirsty, and couldn't find any juice, so I bought a Mountain Dew, forgetting that in the States, Mountain Dew is loaded with caffeine, which is very unhealthy, and kept me up all night! Anyway, Alex performed at the comedy show and got more laughs than the other performers (even more than the headline act). But then again, that makes sense, because he's a professional comedian, and the rest were probably amateurs. Then we went to various other bars/clubs that had comedy shows. We even walked into a club where we could hear Chris Rock performing (and saw his car parked out front), but they wouldn't let us in while he was performing.
Here are pictures of how the New York City subway is violating civil rights:TUESDAY, JULY 10, 2007
The last day of our trip was pretty uneventful. We woke up early, grabbed some toasted muffins at the Gramercy Cafe, hopped on the subway, and headed out to the airports (Alex to JFK, me to LaGuardia -- oops, that wasn't planned well!). Even though I went too far on the subway and had to backtrack, I still got to the gate 2 hours early for the plane (oh well, it's better than being 2 minutes late!). The flight home was uneventful. It was a simple end to an exciting but short trip!
